美REE的部落格

真不該半夜追影片!!
因為第一步"Before Sunrise"尾巴很耐人尋味，
讓我急著追下一部曲，下場就是.......................失眠!!!!

浪漫主義如我
這種劇情片永遠是我的囊中之物
也是我最愛的電影類型!!!

可是兩人隔九年相遇後應該甜蜜開心的場景
我卻因為感同身受(戲的另一頭男主角的老婆)婚姻不幸福而難過
為這個男主角難過
也為他太太難過(因為我不想要這樣他敘述中的婚姻!)
也為這女主角難過
他們雖然思想不同但明明有聊不完的話，和笑不完的相似幽默感!
這對男女主角才是天作之合的話命運也太作弄人
讓每個人都沒辦法得到幸福...

如果我是他太太我有多可憐?
如果我是這女主角我有多傷心?


我永遠不希望我嫁一個人，下半輩子過著義務的人生......連聊天都聊不起!只剩無言以對跟爭吵!
我希望的婚姻是....
婚後(蜜月期過後)還能時不時有著浪漫，每天都有默契地笑著，真這麼難嗎?
像電影裡說的這種寫實婚姻，我一點都不想要，我突然一點都不嚮往婚姻了....


尤其是下面這些話!

+(Jesse)
-(Celine)


+I think that book that I wrote, in a way, was like building something.So that I wouldn't forget the details of the time that we spent together. You know, like just a reminder that...that once we really did meet, you know, that this was real, this happened.



-And, how can you say that? Because...I mean, I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like......this! You know. People just have an affaire, or even... entire relationships...They break up and they forget! They move on like they would have changed a brand of Cereals! I feel I was never able to forget anyone I've been with. Because each person have...you know, specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I haven't fully recovered. That's why I'm very careful with getting involved, because...It hurts too much!Even getting laid! I actually don't do that...I will miss of the person the most mundane things. Like I'm obsessed with little things. Maybe I'm crazy, but...



+Oh, God!Why weren't you there in Vienna?


-I told you why!


+Well, I know why, I just...I wish you would've been!Our lives might have been so much different!


-You think so?


+I actually do...


-Maybe not, maybe we would have hated each other, eventually.


+Oh, what, like we hate each other now?


-No, maybe we're...we're only good at...brief encounters, walking around in European cities, in one climate!


+Oh, God, why didn't we exchange phone numbers and stuff? Why didn't we do that?



-Because we were young and stupid?


+You think we still are?


-I guess when you're young...you just believe...there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life you only realize it only happens a few times. Well, the past is the past. It was meant to be that way.


+Yeah, you really believe that? That everything is faded?


-Well, you know, the world might be less free than you think.


+Yeah?


-Yeah, when given this exact circumstances, that's that will happen every time. Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen, you'll get water every time.


+No, no...I mean, what if your grandmother had lived a week longer, you know? Or passed away a week earlier, days even, you know. Things might have been different, I believe that!


- No, you can't think like that.


+I mean...I know you shouldn't on most things, but...It's just...


.................................



-So, what is it like to be married. You haven't talked much about that.



+I haven't? How weird?! I don't know, me met...you know, when I was in college...And...we broke up and got back together,for a period of years,and then...What?...We were sort of back together, and...she was pregnant...So, marriage.


-What is she like?


She's a great teacher, a good mom...Uhm, she's smart...pretty...I remember thinking at the time, that...so many of the men that I admire most, you know, that their lives were...were dedicated to something greater than themselves...



-So, you got married because men you admire were married?


+No, no, no, it...It's more like I have this...this idea of my best self! You know? And I wanted to pursue that...even if might have been overwriting my honor other self! You know what I'm saying? I mean, it's funny like...in the moment, I remember thinking that it didn't much matter the "Who?" of it all...I mean, that nobody is gonna be everything to...And that ultimately, it's just a simple action of committing yourself, you know, meeting your responsibilities that...that matters. I mean, what is love? Right, if it's not respect, trust, admiration? And I...I felt all those things! So, cut to the present tense, I feel like I'm running a small nursery with somebody I...used to date. I mean, I'm like a monk, you know. I mean, I've had sex less than...... 10 times in the last 4 years.What? What, what?Are you laughing at me?


-No


+It sounds pathetic?


-What monastery you know where monks have sex 10 times?



+Ok, I'm doing better than most monks. All right? But I do, I feel like if somebody were to touch me, you know, I would dissolve into molecules.


-I'm sorry, uhm...to hear that... You know, that...you're not that happywith your marriage. Well, this friend of mine,she's a shrink, and...


+Yeah? How's she doing?



-She's a mess, but...No, she was telling me that she's been dealing with a lot of couples that are breaking up for the same exact reason.



+Uhum, what reason is that?


-Well, all this couples expected after a few years of living together for the passion, that consuming desire, to be the same as in the beginning.


- It's impossible!


+No, I know, I know that...



-I mean, God, otherwise we would end up with aneurism if we were in that constant state of excitement, right? We would end up doing nothing at all with our lives. Do you think you would you would have finished your book, if...if you were fucking somebody every 5 minutes?



+I might have welcomed the challenge...



-But, you know, it's not true, for your wife, after the birth of your son...She has to give all her love to the little one! Imagine that she was totally obsessed with sex, right? And you like walk out...That wouldn't make any sense, right?



+Everything you say makes sense! It's... it's not about sex. I...


-No, I know, it's...obvious. I...You know, couples are so confused lately. I think it must be that...men... need to feel essential, and they don't anymore. Because it's been imprinted in their heads, for so many years, that they had to be the provider...Like, I...I'm a strong independent woman in my professional life. I don't need a man to feed me, but I still need a man to love me, and that I could love, you know.So...


----------------------------


-I was thinking...For me it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore.I was suffering so much all the time. I still have lots of dreams, but they're not in regard to my love life. It doesn't make me sad, it's just the way it is.


+Is that why you're in a relationship with somebody who's...never around?


-Yes, obviously, I can't deal with the day to day life of a relationship.Yeah, we have, you know, this exciting time together and then he leaves and I miss him, but at least I'm not dying inside. When someone is always around me, I'm like suffocating!



+No, wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved...


-Yeah, but when I do, it quickly makes me nauseous! It's a disaster...I mean, I'm really happy only when I'm on my own.Even being alone...



-it's better than...sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. It's not so easy for me to be a romantic. You start off that way, and, after you've been screwed over a few times...You... you forget about all your delusional ideas, and you just take what comes into your life. That's not even true, I haven't been...screwed over, I've just had too many...bla relationship. They weren't mean, they cared for me, but...they were no real...connection, or excitement. At least, not from my side.



+God, I'm sorry, is it...Is it really that bad?



-It's not, right? You know...it's not even that, I was...I was fine.Until I read your fucking book!It stirred shit out from you, It reminded me how...genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things and...now it's like...I don't believe in anything that relates to love, I don't feel things for people anymore. In a way...I put all my romanticism into that one night and I was never able to feel all this again. Like...somehow this night took things away from me and...I expressed them to you and you took them with you! It made me feel cold, like if love wasn't for me!



+I... I don't believe that.I don't believe that.


-You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. It's funny...Every single of my ex-es...they're now married! Man go out with me, we break up, and then they get married! And later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is, and...that I taught them to care and respect women!



+I think I'm one of those guys.


-You know, I want to kill them! Why didn't they ask me to marry them? I would have said "No",but at least they could have asked!!! But it's my fault, I know that it's my fault, because...I never felt it was the right man. Never! But what does it mean the right man? The love of your life? The concept is absurd, the idea that we can only be complete with another person is...EVIL!Right?



+Can I talk?



-You know, I guess I've been heart broken too many times. And then I recovered. So now, you know,form the starts, I make no effort. Because I know exactly what hap...


+ You can't do that.You can't do that, you can't live your life trying to avoid pain, at the expense of en...



-Ok, you know what? Loose our words! I've gotta... I've gotta get away from you...Stop the car, I want to get out!


+No, no, no,don't... don't get out...



- You know, it's being around you...+ Keep talking...


-Don't touch me!


+No, no, no, don't, keep going...No, listen, I'm just so happy...thank you, just keep going...



+All right.Look, I'm just so happy, all right...to be with you. I am. I'm so glad you didn't forget about me. All right, you know what? I'm just...happy to see you, even if... you've become an angry, maniac depressive activist.I still like you, I still enjoy being around you!


-And I feel the same.I'm... I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. I just... I had to let it all out. I...


+ Don't worry about it.


-I'm so miserable in my love life, in my relationship, I always act as...Like...you know, I'm detached, but I'm...I'm dying inside. I'm dying because I'm so numb, I don't feel pain, or excitement...I'm not even bitter, I'm just...


**>______________________



+You think you're the one dying inside. My life, is twenty-for-seven...MAD.


-I'm sorry...


+No, no, no...I mean, the only happiness I get is when I'm out with my son. I've been to marriage counseling, I've done things I neverthought I would have to do, I lit candles, bought self-help books, lingerie...


-Did the candles help?


+Hell, no!All right, I'm in love with the way she needs to be loved, and...I don't even see a future for us. But then I look at... at my little boy, sitting at the table across from me, and I think I would have suffered any torture to be with him for all the minutes of his life. You know, I don't wanna miss out on one. But then, then...there's no joy, or laughter, in my home.You know, and I don't want him growing up in that!



-Oh, no laughter?That's terrible, my parents have been together for 35 years and even when they have a bad fight, they end up laughing like crazy...


+I just... I don't wanna be one of those people who are...getting divorced at 52, and falling down into tears, admitting that they never really loved their spouse, and they feel that their life has been...sucked up into a vacuum cleaner! You know, I want a great life. I want her to have a great life. She deserves that! All right.But we're just living in a pretense of a marriage responsibility, and all this...just...ideas of how people are suppose to live.


-What dreams?


+I have this dreams,you know, that...I'm standing on a platform, and...you keep going by on a train,and...you go by, and you go by, and you go by, and I wake up with the fucking sweats, you know? And then I have this other dream, oh... where you're...pregnant, in bed, beside me, naked,and I want so badly to touch you, but you tell me not to, and then you look away. And...and I... I...I touch you anyway,ight on your ankle, and your skin is so soft, and I wake up in sobs, all right? And my wife is sitting there, looking at me, and I feel like I'm a million miles fromher and I know that there's something... wrong! You know, that I ca...that I can't keep living like this, that there's gotta be something more to love than commitment...But then I think that...I might have given up...on the whole idea of romantic love.That I...I might have put it to bed, that...that day when you weren't there. You know, I think I might have done that.


-Why are you telling me all this?


+I'm sorry.I don't know, I'm...I... I should... I...I shouldn't have.


-You know, it's so weird...people think they are the only onegoing through tough times. I mean, when I read the article,I thought...your life was perfect. A wife, a kid, a published author! Your personal life was more of a mess than mine...! I'm sorry!


:'(

很寫實且令人悲哀的婚姻對吧!
誰會希望自己老公夢到的是另一個心中最愛的女人
卻不是自己??
而且起床面對自己的感覺還超差.....:'(